Today i learned what a mother scorpion looks like.

Terrifying isn't it

Awkward..

Ok its story time kids, so one day I was at my good friends house having dinner with his family in high school. Everything was all pretty normal, I'd been there a million times so as usual his weird dad was being quiet sitting across from me and the rest of us were chatting. Their dog walked by, and for years my friend and I had jokingly called it "Sandy" instead of "Jesse" in memoriam for our other friends' identical looking but dead dog. I go "Hey Sandy," as it walks by and suddenly the dad stands up, leans across the table and screams in my face: "ITS JESSE! THE DOGS NAME IS JESSE! RESPECT THE DOG! RESPECT THE HOUSE!"

Everyone sat in stunned silence for a second, stereotypically jaws agape, eyebrows raised. So naturally to calm the tension he goes "High five." I hesitatingly gave it to him without a word and the dad sat back down. The rest of that meal was spent in the worst in all-around awkward silence ever.